幽默搞笑演講稿(3篇)

第1篇 三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文

三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文篇一

once upon a time, a weenie ant was walking on his way. as he was walking, suddenly he felt the ground shaking terribly. he looked around with his paranoid eyes and saw an elephant walking right behind him. quickly, the little ant covered himself with dirt, but one leg was unfortunately left out. a sparrow saw everything, so she flew down with the purpose of teasing the ant: “hey, chicken! watch out your leg, it’s out!” the ant felt embarrassed at first but then calmly responded: “ shi…i am going to trip that elephant.”

right now, i’m standing on this glamorous stage. but everything here reminds me of is a not so fun memory. around this time last year i was in nanjing competing in another speech contest. that was the first time for me to be in such a large event. of course the pressure i was under was immense too. after a sleepless and stressful night, i went onto that stage without the feeling in my legs. that speech turned out to be horrible. i don’t remember how i get down from there, but i do remember afterwards i just wanted to find a hole to hide in just like the ant in the story. back at my school, it took a long time for me to recover. thanks to all the help i got from my special friends. my confidence was restored. after rounds of giving speeches and answering tough questions, i am here today. from all that i’ve been through i’ve learned that a good future is based on a forgotten past, if i want my life to go on well i have to let go of my past failure. so today, with out fear, i am tripping my elephant again.

三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文篇二

good morning,dear teacher and my friends.

it’s a very intresting topic today.

i think my dad was a hero for me when i was a young child. we'd go fishing, walks, and other fun things for a kid.

every child has a good and great father, and so do i. my dad played a very important role in my daily life`````e_actly speaking, in my past 16 years.

my father always stands in the center of my life， from past till now and possibly in the future.

my family was rather poor when i was in my childhood. we didn't have our own house and had to live in a shabby， small room rented from my father's factory. the room was so small that there was little space for people to walk. i didn't have my own bed and had to sleep with my parents. this is terrible both for my parents and me.

but father made this all different!he works very hard on his own business, now we have our own 2 housese,surly,i have my own room.and he take our family so much happiness, richer and richer.

when i was little, i did everything with my dad. you could always find me sitting on his knee or walking and doing everything with him. every night he would read me a bed time story and make the voices of each character.

i learnt a lot from my daddy. i learnt to never take things to seriously and to always smile.

like many other fathers, my dad and i also has generation gap. he is not good at or even can’t work the computer. so when i sitting at the computer desk,he will say something like ‘you should pay more attention to your study’, ‘don’t waste time on the computer games’ , ‘it will be bad for your eyes’ and so on. how can i- a computer fan – reduce time on computer? so i continue studying and playing on it

years pasted, my father is over 45 now. it is time for me to look after him and i am sure i will do and we will live an even better life. and i will say,i really love you dad,cause you are the hero in my mind.

thank you so much!

三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文篇三

the footsteps of the __ world e_po is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world e_po __, e_po __ shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.

world e_po is a great influence and a long history of international activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. e_po set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.

world e_po is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest e_perience enthusiasm and happiness.

everyone to contribute for the e_po, we are no e_ception, as a living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow

, we have to do for the world e_po will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking ... ..., hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to e_citing __, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world e_po foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the __ e_po, then, we want to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, a

bout our education for the world e_po will contribute their efforts.

we e_pect the majority of teachers will be great enthusiasm for the world e_po into practical action to meet the world e_po, the e_po will be a total growth, and the city of development, the development of shanghai devote their efforts to advance hand in hand with shanghai.

三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿篇四

good afternoon ，ladies and gentlemen!

i’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! to begin with ,i want to ask a question .does everybody dream a good dream last night? actually ,today i want to talk about dream with you. of course, what i want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.

everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners(水手),we can chart our course by them. with the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.with the dream, there is hope,with hope, we have the strength to fight.

i have a dream: to be a doctor.，because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. may let the human change the health. at the same time, i believed that, those who help others may be able to obtain joyfully. therefore, i hoped in the near future ,i might be a doctor.

but i know，life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead .

young!fortunately, i am young now. just due to it, i know that nothing is impossible.i firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. if i can't realize my dream,it result from that i haven't work harder enough and i won't find other e_cuses. if no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. if you think the god haven't blessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth.

'my breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains.' at some time in the past i also had am bitious words and i had some achievements. each achievement results from my hard work. i always believe that 'if you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder.' in some e_tent, the dream is the hope. if you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.

hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. so my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. let's--- move ----out!

thank you for your listening!

三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿篇五

good afternoon!

recently, ther is a heated debate in our society. the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive e_ceptional education at e_traordinary places. but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country?

the cynics say the college students are the pampered lost generation, which would cringe at the slightest discomfort. but the cynics are wrong. the college students i see are eagerly learning about how to live independently. we help each other clean the dormitory, go shopping and bargain together, and take part time jobs to supplement our pocket money.

the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades; and we neglect the need for character cultivation. but again, the cynics are wrong. we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth. last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.

as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives. we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the future of our country. i believe in all my fellow classmates. though we are still ine_perienced and even a little bit childish. i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities. we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place. i believe in our future.

三分鐘搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿篇六

love your mother

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?

'because i'm a woman,' she told him.

'i don't understand,' he said.

his mom just hugged him and said,

'and you never will, but that's o.k.'.......

later the little boy asked his father,

'why does mom seem to cry for no reason?'.

'all women cry for no reason,' was all his dad could say......

the little boy grew up and became a man,

still wondering why women cry.

finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked 'god, why do women cry so easily?'

god answered......

'when i made woman,

i decided she had to be special.

i made her shoulders

strong enough to carry

the weight of the world, yet,

made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...

i gave her the inner strength

to endure childbirth

and the rejection

that many times will come

even from her own children.

i gave her a hardness

that allows her

to keep going and take care

of her family and friends,

even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without

complaining....

i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....

she has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's an_ieties and fears....

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults

and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....

第2篇 三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿

三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文

三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文1

the footsteps of the __ world e_po is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world e_po __, e_po __ shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.

world e_po is a great influence and a long history of international activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. e_po set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.

world e_po is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest e_perience enthusiasm and happiness.

everyone to contribute for the e_po, we are no e_ception, as a living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow

, we have to do for the world e_po will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking ... ..., hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to e_citing __, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world e_po foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the __ e_po, then, we want to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, a

bout our education for the world e_po will contribute their efforts.

we e_pect the majority of teachers will be great enthusiasm for the world e_po into practical action to meet the world e_po, the e_po will be a total growth, and the city of development, the development of shanghai devote their efforts to advance hand in hand with shanghai.

三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文2

good afternoon!

recently, ther is a heated debate in our society. the college students are the beneficiaries of a rare privilege, who receive e_ceptional education at e_traordinary places. but will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselves against all odds? will we be able to better the lives of others? will we be able to accept the responsibility of building the future of our country?

the cynics say the college students are the pampered lost generation, which would cringe at the slightest discomfort. but the cynics are wrong. the college students i see are eagerly learning about how to live independently. we help each other clean the dormitory, go shopping and bargain together, and take part time jobs to supplement our pocket money.

the cynics say we care for nothing other than grades; and we neglect the need for character cultivation. but again, the cynics are wrong. we care deeply for each other, we cherish freedom, we treasure justice, and we seek truth. last week, thousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make a contribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer.

as college students, we are adolescents at the critical turning point in our lives. we all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith, each will profoundly impact our future, or even the future of our country. i believe in all my fellow classmates. though we are still ine_perienced and even a little bit childish. i believe that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on our responsibilities. we are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks, and to use the education we have received to make our world a better place. i believe in our future.

三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文3

good afternoon ，ladies and gentlemen!

i’m very honored to stand here and give you a short speech! to begin with ,i want to ask a question .does everybody dream a good dream last night? actually ,today i want to talk about dream with you. of course, what i want to talk is not a dream you have last night,but a dream—— about life.

everyone has dreams about life, different dreams at different life stage,and we need dreams to support us. dreams are like the stars we never reach in the sky,but like most mariners(水手),we can chart our course by them. with the dream,we have a direction,with a direction, we were no longer confused.with the dream, there is hope,with hope, we have the strength to fight.

i have a dream: to be a doctor.，because doctor may relieve the pain of patients. may let the human change the health. at the same time, i believed that, those who help others may be able to obtain joyfully. therefore, i hoped in the near future ,i might be a doctor.

but i know，life is tough,and there are always ups and downs, maybe we fail in the way to our aims,and we may feel depressed ,whenever at this time, the dream in our heart can always comfort us, encourage us ,and support us to move ahead .

young!fortunately, i am young now. just due to it, i know that nothing is impossible.i firmly believe that nothing can stand in my way. if i can't realize my dream,it result from that i haven't work harder enough and i won't find other e_cuses. if no people believe you, you can make it to prove that you are right. if you think the god haven't blessed you and there is no truth here, you can become the god and create the truth.

'my breath swallows the sky and make the yellow river overflow, my sword is famous in kyushu and it can collapse the five sacred mountains.' at some time in the past i also had am bitious words and i had some achievements. each achievement results from my hard work. i always believe that 'if you want to have more achievements than others, you must work harder.' in some e_tent, the dream is the hope. if you can insist on doing something, the victory will come.

hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow. so my dear friends, think of your old and maybe dead dreams. whatever it is, pick it up and make it alive from today. let's--- move ----out!

thank you for your listening!

三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文4

good morning,dear teacher and my friends.

it’s a very intresting topic today.

i think my dad was a hero for me when i was a young child. we'd go fishing, walks, and other fun things for a kid.

every child has a good and great father, and so do i. my dad played a very important role in my daily life`````e_actly speaking, in my past 16 years.

my father always stands in the center of my life， from past till now and possibly in the future.

my family was rather poor when i was in my childhood. we didn't have our own house and had to live in a shabby， small room rented from my father's factory. the room was so small that there was little space for people to walk. i didn't have my own bed and had to sleep with my parents. this is terrible both for my parents and me.

but father made this all different!he works very hard on his own business, now we have our own 2 housese,surly,i have my own room.and he take our family so much happiness, richer and richer.

when i was little, i did everything with my dad. you could always find me sitting on his knee or walking and doing everything with him. every night he would read me a bed time story and make the voices of each character.

i learnt a lot from my daddy. i learnt to never take things to seriously and to always smile.

like many other fathers, my dad and i also has generation gap. he is not good at or even can’t work the computer. so when i sitting at the computer desk,he will say something like ‘you should pay more attention to your study’, ‘don’t waste time on the computer games’ , ‘it will be bad for your eyes’ and so on. how can i- a computer fan – reduce time on computer? so i continue studying and playing on it

years pasted, my father is over 45 now. it is time for me to look after him and i am sure i will do and we will live an even better life. and i will say,i really love you dad,cause you are the hero in my mind.

thank you so much!

三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文5

once upon a time, a weenie ant was walking on his way. as he was walking, suddenly he felt the ground shaking terribly. he looked around with his paranoid eyes and saw an elephant walking right behind him. quickly, the little ant covered himself with dirt, but one leg was unfortunately left out. a sparrow saw everything, so she flew down with the purpose of teasing the ant: “hey, chicken! watch out your leg, it’s out!” the ant felt embarrassed at first but then calmly responded: “ shi…i am going to trip that elephant.”

right now, i’m standing on this glamorous stage. but everything here reminds me of is a not so fun memory. around this time last year i was in nanjing competing in another speech contest. that was the first time for me to be in such a large event. of course the pressure i was under was immense too. after a sleepless and stressful night, i went onto that stage without the feeling in my legs. that speech turned out to be horrible. i don’t remember how i get down from there, but i do remember afterwards i just wanted to find a hole to hide in just like the ant in the story. back at my school, it took a long time for me to recover. thanks to all the help i got from my special friends. my confidence was restored. after rounds of giving speeches and answering tough questions, i am here today. from all that i’ve been through i’ve learned that a good future is based on a forgotten past, if i want my life to go on well i have to let go of my past failure. so today, with out fear, i am tripping my elephant again.

三分鐘幽默搞笑英語(yǔ)演講稿范文6

love your mother

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom?

'because i'm a woman,' she told him.

'i don't understand,' he said.

his mom just hugged him and said,

'and you never will, but that's o.k.'.......

later the little boy asked his father,

'why does mom seem to cry for no reason?'.

'all women cry for no reason,' was all his dad could say......

the little boy grew up and became a man,

still wondering why women cry.

finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked 'god, why do women cry so easily?'

god answered......

'when i made woman,

i decided she had to be special.

i made her shoulders

strong enough to carry

the weight of the world, yet,

made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...

i gave her the inner strength

to endure childbirth

and the rejection

that many times will come

even from her own children.

i gave her a hardness

that allows her

to keep going and take care

of her family and friends,

even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without

complaining....

i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. even when her child has hurt her badly....

she has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's an_ieties and fears....

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults

and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....

第3篇 3分鐘幽默搞笑的演講稿

3分鐘幽默搞笑的演講稿

3分鐘幽默搞笑的演講稿：樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度

尊敬的老師，親愛(ài)的同學(xué)們，大家早上好!

按照慣例，這次輪到我來(lái)做“課前三分鐘勵(lì)志演講”，下面我要演講的題目是樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度。

曾看過(guò)這樣一段話：小鳥(niǎo)說(shuō)：我從天空中飛過(guò)，但天空中沒(méi)有留下我的痕跡。泰戈?duì)栒f(shuō)，天空中沒(méi)有留下我的痕跡，但我已飛過(guò)。同樣的狀況，卻有兩種不同的態(tài)度，相信后者的態(tài)度更能贏得大家的認(rèn)可。其實(shí)生活是一面鏡子，你對(duì)他笑，他就會(huì)向你露出笑臉，你對(duì)它哭，那么你最終只會(huì)收獲沮喪的心情。

或許有人會(huì)抱怨說(shuō)，上天是如此的不公平，努力奮斗多年的我到現(xiàn)在為止還是一個(gè)經(jīng)理助手。寒窗苦讀十二年書(shū)的我，最終還是沒(méi)能考上理想的大學(xué)。然而，這些抱怨無(wú)法改變現(xiàn)實(shí)，只能加重自己的煩惱，何不以積極樂(lè)觀的心態(tài)看待呢?

相反的，正如我們熟知的林肯先生，在遭受24歲經(jīng)商失敗，26歲愛(ài)人死去，27歲精神崩潰，中年時(shí)代多次競(jìng)選參議員和副總統(tǒng)，卻均以失敗告終，可面對(duì)如此多的打擊與磨難，他始終沒(méi)有放棄自己的夢(mèng)想，而是以積極的生活態(tài)度應(yīng)對(duì)這些不如意，最終他成為美國(guó)第十六任總統(tǒng)，正是這積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度，讓林肯最終實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的理想。

相信，假若沒(méi)有積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度，摔殘肢體的桑蘭，高位截肢的張海迪，生命中沒(méi)有光明與黑暗的海倫—?jiǎng)P勒，他們同樣不會(huì)有燦爛的人生，也就不會(huì)贏得世人的尊重與贊美。

親愛(ài)的朋友們，雖然我們無(wú)法預(yù)知下一秒會(huì)發(fā)生怎樣的事情，但相信只要我們持一種積極樂(lè)觀的生活態(tài)度，我們生活一直是快樂(lè)的。所以，即使有一千個(gè)理由哭泣，也要為自己找出一萬(wàn)個(gè)理由微笑，這樣，我們的生活就會(huì)充滿更多的陽(yáng)光和快樂(lè)。

3分鐘幽默搞笑的演講稿：立即行動(dòng)

同學(xué)們：大家好!

新學(xué)期第一節(jié)課我們從一個(gè)小故事開(kāi)始——在一個(gè)深深的鼠洞里，一個(gè)老鼠家族正在召開(kāi)會(huì)議，會(huì)議的中心是怎樣在覓食的時(shí)候及時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)那只喜歡搞突襲的黑貓。不一會(huì)兒，一只小老鼠想出一個(gè)好辦法——在黑貓的脖子上掛一只鈴鐺。話一說(shuō)完，大家齊聲說(shuō)好，但接下來(lái)卻都沉默了，因?yàn)闆](méi)有哪一只老鼠敢去掛這只鈴鐺。

這個(gè)故事不禁讓我浮現(xiàn)出一個(gè)念頭：與行動(dòng)相比，有時(shí)候，幻想或想象其實(shí)是一件再舒服不過(guò)的事——它沒(méi)有風(fēng)險(xiǎn)，無(wú)需膽量，不受約束。你想嘗試冬泳，便可以盡情地想象著數(shù)九寒天在冰冷刺骨的河水中游弋的豪邁;你想嘗試彈琴，便可以盡情想象自己在高高的舞臺(tái)上悠然地表演;你想學(xué)習(xí)一門(mén)外語(yǔ)，于是跑到書(shū)店買(mǎi)了一大堆復(fù)習(xí)資料，還把決心下了又下：每天至少要保證一小時(shí)的學(xué)習(xí)時(shí)間。在你的頭腦中，一切都是那樣美好、切實(shí)可行，不過(guò)，當(dāng)熱情漸漸冷卻后，你卻沒(méi)有勇氣跳人冰水中;你卻不能忍受日復(fù)一日練琴的單調(diào)和枯燥;你卻不能放棄每天的休閑時(shí)間埋頭苦學(xué)。全部美好的幻想和想象都變成了一紙空文。

幾年前，一位頗有名氣的畫(huà)家想畫(huà)一幅以某歷史事件為主題的畫(huà)，這個(gè)歷史事件在其他畫(huà)作中鮮有表現(xiàn)，場(chǎng)景又極生動(dòng)，形象，畫(huà)出來(lái)一定很富感染力。這位畫(huà)家翻閱了大量歷史書(shū)籍，對(duì)事件的各種細(xì)節(jié)已了然于胸，加上他畫(huà)技高超，若完成這幅畫(huà)肯定能為他贏得巨大的聲譽(yù)。一年以后，有人無(wú)意間提到那幅畫(huà)，誰(shuí)知畫(huà)家根本就沒(méi)動(dòng)筆!他猶豫著想找理由解釋，最后終于說(shuō)還是太忙了，有許多事情要做，根本沒(méi)時(shí)間畫(huà)這幅畫(huà)。

生活中，有許多這樣的人，他們對(duì)人生有著種種設(shè)想與規(guī)劃，有著十分美好的理想與愿望，可就是不用實(shí)際行動(dòng)來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn)它，這樣一來(lái)，即使構(gòu)想出再有價(jià)值的東西，也是胎死腹中，令人惋惜。

老鼠沒(méi)有行動(dòng)，是因?yàn)榭謶?，我們沒(méi)有行動(dòng)，是因?yàn)槭裁茨?不要找任何借口來(lái)回答這個(gè)問(wèn)題，任何借口都是蒼白無(wú)力的。

我們應(yīng)該隨時(shí)告誡自己：下定決心做某件事的時(shí)候，一定要立即行動(dòng)。

我們每一個(gè)人都應(yīng)該牢牢記住，上天不會(huì)因?yàn)槟忝篮玫南敕ǘ湍阋粋€(gè)美好的前程。那么，為什么還不行動(dòng)?

3分鐘幽默搞笑的演講稿：改變不了環(huán)境，就改變自己

敬愛(ài)的.老師，親愛(ài)的同學(xué)們：

大家好!

今天我演講的題目是《改變不了環(huán)境，就改變自己》。

著名的文學(xué)家托爾斯泰曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)：“世界上只有兩種人：一種是觀望者，一種是行動(dòng)者。大多數(shù)人想改變這個(gè)世界，但沒(méi)人想改變自己?！毕胍淖儸F(xiàn)狀，就要改變自己;要改變自己。就得改變自己的觀念。一切成就，都是從正確的觀念開(kāi)始的。一連串的失敗，也都是從錯(cuò)誤的觀念開(kāi)始的。要適應(yīng)社會(huì)，適應(yīng)環(huán)境，適應(yīng)變化，就要學(xué)會(huì)改變自己。

柏拉圖告訴弟-子自己能夠移山，弟-子們紛紛請(qǐng)教方法，柏拉圖笑道，說(shuō)：“很簡(jiǎn)單，山若不過(guò)來(lái)，我就過(guò)去?！钡?子們一片嘩然。

這一個(gè)世界上根本就沒(méi)有移山之術(shù)，唯一的一個(gè)移動(dòng)山的方法就是：山不過(guò)來(lái)，我便過(guò)去。同樣的道理，人不能改變環(huán)境，那么我們就要改變自己。

一個(gè)黑人小孩在他父親的葡萄酒廠看守橡木桶。每天早上，他用抹布將一個(gè)個(gè)木桶擦干凈，然后一排排地整齊地放好。令他生氣的是，往往一夜之間，風(fēng)就把他排列整齊的木桶吹得東倒西歪。

小男孩很委屈地哭了。父親摸著小男孩的頭說(shuō)：“孩子，不要哭，我們可以想辦法去征服風(fēng)。”

于是小男孩擦干了眼淚坐在木桶邊想啊想，想了半天終于想出了一個(gè)辦法，他從井邊挑來(lái)一桶又一桶的清水，然后把它們倒進(jìn)那些空空的橡木桶里，然后他就忐忑不安地回家睡覺(jué)了。第二天，天剛蒙蒙亮，小男孩就匆匆地爬了起來(lái)，他跑到放桶的地方一看，那些橡木桶一個(gè)一個(gè)排列得整整齊齊，沒(méi)有一個(gè)被風(fēng)吹倒的，也沒(méi)有一個(gè)被風(fēng)吹歪的。小男孩開(kāi)心地笑了，他對(duì)父親說(shuō)：“要想木桶不被風(fēng)吹倒，就要加重木桶的重量?！蹦泻⒌母赣H贊許地微笑了。

是的，我們不能改變風(fēng)，改變不了這個(gè)這個(gè)世界上的許多東西，但是我們可以改變自己，給自己加重，這樣我們就可以適應(yīng)變化，不被打敗!

在威斯敏斯特教堂地下室里，英國(guó)圣公會(huì)主教的墓碑上寫(xiě)著這樣一段話：當(dāng)我年輕自由的時(shí)候，我的想象力沒(méi)有任何局限，我夢(mèng)想改變這個(gè)世界。當(dāng)我漸漸成熟明智的時(shí)候，我發(fā)現(xiàn)這個(gè)世界是不可改變的，于是我將眼光放得短淺了一些，那就只改變我的國(guó)家吧!但是我的國(guó)家似乎也是我無(wú)法改變的。當(dāng)我到了遲暮之年，抱著最后一絲努力的希望，我決定只改變我的家庭、我最親近的人——但是，唉!他們根本不接受改變?，F(xiàn)在我在臨終之際，我才突然意識(shí)到：如果起初我只改變自己，接著我就可以依次改變我的家人。然后，在他們的激發(fā)和鼓勵(lì)下，我也許能改變我的國(guó)家。再接下來(lái)，誰(shuí)又知道呢，也許我連整個(gè)世界都可以改變。

人生如水，人只能去適應(yīng)環(huán)境。如果不能改變環(huán)境，就改變自己，只有這樣，才能克服更多的困難，戰(zhàn)勝更多的挫折，實(shí)現(xiàn)自我。如果不能看到自己的缺點(diǎn)和不足，只是一味地埋怨環(huán)境不利，從而把改變境遇的希望寄托在改變環(huán)境上，這實(shí)在是徒勞無(wú)益。

雖然我們不能改變世界，但我們可以改變自己，讓我們用愛(ài)心和智慧來(lái)面對(duì)一切環(huán)境。